Vast Randomness

Here I go..

2011-06-06T16:22:00.000-04:00

This weekend in a fit of frustration I decided to move my main blog to http://vastrandomness.wordpress.com/

I'm still setting things up so it looks a little bare.

At this point I'm not sure what I'm going to use the blog for, but I will be doing something with it. Just right now I have a lot on my plate with finding a new car, getting ready for a trip, and of course all my other obligations. So give me some time.

I've also been awake for well over 24 hours, unless you count the hour "nap" in which I would wake up every time I started to drift off because the cats decided it was 5am and I would make an awesome trampoline.

So that's that. I would love for you to come check out the new digs and feel free to leave me some comments so I don't feel like I'm talking to myself.

Like I didn't have enough to deal with

2011-05-30T19:06:00.000-04:00

This post is going to suck. I'm warning you now because I don't want anyone to be let down. Not that any of my other posts have been very interesting, but I like to let people know what they're getting. Perhaps I should just change my tag line to, " nothing to see here".

Stress is at an all time high for me right now.

Every time I've thought I have a handle on everything something new comes up that I have to deal with. Stories not going the way they were planned is one thing, but having to find a new car in a limited amount of time when you can't afford one is another. And that's part of what I'm currently doing. I don't even drive, I'm a freaking hermit most of the time. But Chris does, and since he works about a million hours a week on an odd schedule it's up to me to try and find something so he can go test drive it on his day off. Of course than you have to have it checked out to make sure it's not going to die the moment you've paid for it, make sure it's certified and e tested, and of course licence it. Fun times.

Worst time ever for our old vehicle to die really since we also have to plan a trip to go see my in laws in a couple months. Oddly it's cheaper to drive than to fly or anything else, but still you have to budget for these things and as we know I've sort of screwed that up in the past few months. It's a big event so it's not like we can skip it either.

It will all work out in the end I'm sure, but right at this moment it feels like a lot to deal with on top of the usual daily stresses.

Another year older but none the wiser

2011-05-24T02:53:00.000-04:00

This is it. The last year of my twenties has begun. Chris* has spent all weekend making sure I didn't freak out, as I normally do on my birthday. And by that I mean we've spent most of it playing video games and watching movies. We haven't been able to spend this much time just hang out at home in at least a month, if not longer, so it's been nice.

But now it's time to get back to reality.

* Obviously Chris is "C", I decided to stop just using his first initial.

The End is Coming

2011-05-19T02:47:00.001-04:00

So Saturday the world is supposed to end. It's funny because I haven't seen one freaking zombie so far and I always thought the Apocalypse would involve them. All that time spent creating zombie plans, wasted.

My birthday is two days later, so it's also a bummer that I'm going to have my party weekend cut short. Then again since I'm not 100% sure how this is supposed to work without the zombies, it might not. I might just be stuck with all the sinners or whatever.

See zombies would totally make this less confusing.

( This song is totally on my Zombie Apocalypse playlist...and it should be on yours. I'm holding onto the hope it still happens.)

Chrome is killing my productivity

2011-05-16T00:26:00.000-04:00

Seriously why did they have to have an angry birds app? It's bad enough when I'm stealing C's phone. Now I can just play while I sit here coughing up a lung without someone interrupting my game by calling? Deal.

Now there's just all this work that I should be getting done that I'm ignoring while I try to make pigs explode. Do they have an app for that? No? Crap.

Short but sweet update

2011-05-10T17:32:00.000-04:00

Life is so chaotic right now. It's impossible for me to even think straight, well at least what I call thinking straight. Okay so I basically make it up as I go along but it's working right now so let's not mess with it.

Even my house is in total chaos right now. We seriously have to get our shit together and hopefully a good chunk of that will be happening this weekend. Which means I have to get a nice chunk of writing done over the next couple of days. My birthday is in thirteen days and by then I would like to have most, if not all, of the major stuff done by then.

But first I have to get my laptop and my server to get along again.

Yeah that's about right...

2011-05-07T23:48:00.000-04:00

http://silhouettemasterpiecetheatre.com/

The importance of Proofreading

2011-05-04T23:41:00.000-04:00

It's pretty bad when you get lost while re-reading something you've written. Not in a, " oh wow this is a really good story and I'm gripped by it" way. More like a, " What the fuck is going on?" way. Like when your characters change names or the whole thing is building up for one moment only to end up going in a whole other direction. This is why you proof read and self-edit before you pass it along to someone else to read. This is also why most of my work is sitting on my hard drive and not seeing the light of day right now. Seriously it's bad.

I'll admit Grammar isn't always my friend either. I swear one day I will figure it all out and write a book about how to make Grammar your bitch. Just, not right now. I have my hands full with my current work as you can tell.

Spelling is tricky too. See you need to have a rough idea of what you're trying to spell for spell check to work. Wait, that's a lie. You don't have to have a rough idea but it helps. That way you don't end up with a sentence that's funnier than you intended because although the word is spelled right it's totally the wrong word. Happens all the damn time too. But I can laugh it off.

As you might have guesses that's what I've spent the passed few days doing. Laughing and proof reading. There may have been a few tears too, but I'm blaming them on the injury.

It's basically a wonder I made it this far really

2011-05-02T19:57:00.000-04:00

Accidents happen right? Well they seem to happen way too often when it comes to me and injuries. I have fallen up stairs, touched the inner element of the stove with the back of my bare hand, and even cut myself with safety scissors. I'm that talented.

Fun fact: I was in a car accident in which my side of the vehicle was smashed in to the point my seat was in two pieces and walked away with a hand that looked like I had been in a bar fight and a nasty bruise from the seat belt. I was really, really lucky.

And yet while doing yard work with C I ended up falling off the top of the stairs going to our deck from the driveway and messing up my ankle pretty good.

That's right I can't even walk without harming myself. Joyful. I was a trooper though. In the words of this two and half year I know I, " shook it off" and finished the work.

Now I get to limp around and pout at C until he rubs my foot because that's what I do.

Note, this happened on Saturday. I was too self medicated on the sauce to post but now it's Monday and I'm so over the limping. I even had to go vote today and it was not much fun limping though a school. I had flashbacks to gym class....don't even get me started on gym class.

Big Moment in History

2011-05-02T00:59:00.000-04:00

I had this whole other post sitting in my drafts folder to post tonight. It's going to have to stay there for now because something big happened.

Osama Bin Laden is dead.

Oddly as I sat here watching the feed from CNN, waiting for the official announcement, I had flashbacks to 9/11. Probably because they kept mentioning it and that was the last time I heard Bin Laden's name repeated over and over again. This is a moment that I won't forget. It will hopefully bring some closure as well.

There is nothing more I can add. Really I'm bad at being serious.

Still Recovering

2011-04-26T18:16:00.000-04:00

You know what's fun? Waking up drunk...on Easter...and then having to cook. Well the cooking while drunk thing is actually fine but the whole waking up thing, not so much. But we had to ring in C's "dirty thirties" in the best possible way, and we did. Thought I don't get calling your thirties dirty. I thought you were supposed to go through all the dirty stuff in your twenties and then it doesn't seem so dirty by the time you're thirty. Whatever. I'm sure with most things I'll figure it out as I go.

So Monday it was supposed to be back to business as usual. Except it wasn't. I put things off until today so I could rehydrate and rest yesterday. And by rest I mean do daily grind stuff and then call a store to find out if they have an item I need and get politely hung up on. Seriously. I asked they said they were out and when I went to ask about a substitute the guy was all like, " thanks for calling we appreciate it" CLICK. o.0....okay then.

Then the television decided to die, I got shocked. It was not fun.

After that I was just over the day and decided to start over today.

I'll get back to you on how it goes.

Ok here's the deal

2011-04-24T05:28:00.000-04:00

I've tried updating so many times this week it's not even funny, but it's just not been able to happen. I've had to actually be an adult and make some big choices about my life. Plus obviously it's Easter weekend so there was that to prepare for. Oh and the icing on top of this is that it's C's 30th birthday. ( This is the first time they've ever been on the same day since we've been together.)

This man puts up with my insanity the least I can do is give him a decent birthday. And since we've already broken into the booze and it's five in the morning this isn't even going to be that long of an update.

I spent the day running around with my Mom and C getting ready for Easter/C's birthday dinner. My Mom was unamused with my suggestion we should start making chocolate Jesus statues and calling them "Sacralicious". At this point I'm sure she is totally questioning my ten years of Catholic school. Probably my sanity too. But that's not new. To be fair I question hers all the time. Really the fact she hardly ever drinks is shocking considering what/who she has to put up with on a daily basis.

Since I've now tried to write more and ended up deleting it I'm going to take it as a sign that I can't trust myself with a keyboard at this point. I'm off to bed because tomorrow...err..today is going to be a busy day.

Oh and on Monday I'm starting a new novel. Wish me luck in my frustration...I'll keep you updated. :)

Ideas..how do they work?

2011-04-18T19:48:00.000-04:00

When working on a project I'm very protective of it. So when asked about what I'm doing I'm full of lame answers. There are a couple reasons for this, the main one being that I've had ideas stolen before and it sucks. I also tend to move on to something else when I get blocked with one story and people find it hard to keep up. I'm called Vastly Random for a reason, it's not just a blog name.

But that's not what I started out to say when I started this post.

See I get asked where my ideas come from. I think it's a staple go to when people hear you're a writer. But I never have an answer. Sometimes they just come to me, sometimes they come in dreams, and sometimes I find out they're not that original and get back to the drawing board.

There is no big secret about where my ideas come from. As long as you have something to turn into a plot and some characters you're all set.

Honestly, I'm just making it up as I go.

This week was boring..stressful but boring

2011-04-14T18:53:00.000-04:00

When all you've done all week is deal with the serious stuff that comes with being an adult it's really hard to do something interesting with your blog. Really who wants to hear about how horrible the hold music is or how the horrible music is preferable to nothing at all? Worst is when there is no music and the person on the other end doesn't say they're about to put you on hold. It's like just dead silence and you're sitting there continually saying, " Hello?" or you hang up, rinse, repeat.

I have been creating new swear words while trying to teach myself how to use GIMP again. It's been so long since I've done any photo editing work and I used Photoshop back then. I forgot how time consuming it can be to get the hang of. But I've now started downloading far too many brushes than I really need at this point to experiment with.

It gives me something to do while I try to work out issues with a story.

But honestly it would all be much easier with booze.

Well obviously I need a new plan

2011-04-12T17:54:00.000-04:00

As we saw in my last post it's gotten to the point where even counting is hard for me. I wasn't even drunk at the time or anything. Clearly it's time that I come up with some sort of new plan for my life. It's sort of like looking at one of those mall maps. You know where they have all the stores listed and color coded with a big " YOU ARE HERE" where you're supposed to be? Except I'm not where the arrow is, I'm somewhere not even on the map.

This sounds more dramatic than it is.

Days go by, shit happens. Before you know it you get a little off the path you thought you were on. You can get back but it takes a lot of work and sadly stresses you to the point where you start forgetting shit ( even when you've written it down) and you count backwards.

Well Frak

2011-04-09T02:32:00.001-04:00

Me: (counting out some money for a bill) $60,$80,$70

C: Did you really just count backwards?

M: Apparently

C: It's a good thing you're pretty.

M: Shut up.

C: I'm going to have to check your work from not on aren't I?

M: (laughing) Shut up I'm good at math.

Then we got home and found out that I totally messed up part of the weekly budget. Oh yeah I'm good at math all right.

Well look at that, it's April

2011-04-05T23:43:00.000-04:00

April sort of crept up on me. Right now I should be freaking out over writing a script for Script Frenzy but I decided not to do it this year. I just don't have the energy, or time management skills apparently. That whole part of my brain has taken an extended vacation. Let's hope it comes back soon or else I'm screwed.

My brain won't even function enough to let me blog properly. There have been things that I've wanted to write about but then I get to the computer and forgot. Old age is setting in early I suppose, either that or it's a sign I should not leave my house...or that someone should get me an iPhone for my upcoming birthday. Not that I'm hinting or anything. Really I would be happy with an Android too. Maybe just a tablet...you know for work purposes.

Look what I found

2011-03-30T21:41:00.000-04:00

While looking through my old journal for a couple ideas I found some old conversations I had written down Some between myself and friends, but mostly between C and I. Since I've been busy with writing and the daily grind I figured I would share it with you. Just to be fair I think you should know it was like 7am when this happened.

Jun. 7th, 2005 at 1:16 AM

Alright here is a little back story before I get to the good stuff. C works nights as a security guard at the local hospital. Across the street is the old hospital that is really kinda niffty and abandoned so alot of teens come there to party and crap. I like it cause it's an old asylum and I am pissed they are tearing it down but I digress.
Like I said a lot of people show up and they park in the parking lot when they aren't allowed. So last night when he was on patrol he came across a car parked under a street light with the overhead light on and he saw that someone was in the passanger seat and he could kind see another person. Once he pulls up next to them he sees a guy with his face between this girl's legs and her legs over his shoulders. They gave lame excuses about looking for a friend's house and crap. So here is the conversation I had with him this morning.

" So he was looking for the friend's house in her vagina?"
" I don't know."
" That really doesn't say much about the girl. I mean you gotta be loose to hide a whole house in your vagina."
" I think he said something about a map."
" Still not good. I mean if you keep a map in there it will be wet and sticky. I wonder if the flashlight was in there too. That's why they needed to be under the light with another light on."
" You are a nut case."
" And to top it off he was looking with his face." Cue my fit of laughter.
" Go to sleep dear."

There is more but that is the basics of it all.
You know I am so lucky that I have people in my life that get my sense of humour. I'd be lost without them.

Spring Cleaning...not so much

2011-03-24T16:47:00.000-04:00

Fun fact about me: I hate most housework and will use almost any excuse to get out of it.

I love to vacuum, but we don't have carpets in the house. I have used the vacuum on the hardwood floor but with the way we have the furniture arranged right now it's more of a pain in the ass than using a broom. Which I can't used right now because I have a cut on my hand which makes it painful to do. ( See, any excuse)

C is good at helping me, but I can only sweet talk him into doing so much. Plus he's gone most of the day for work and we can only shove in so much over the weekends. Poor guy is the one who has to go on the roof and clean the gutters.

At least I'm writing a little more now. And by that I mean I'm not deleting as much as I was before. Always a good thing.

Now to tackle the stupid to do list for the day.

Joy.

Japan

2011-03-14T16:59:00.000-04:00

By now a lot of people have read and watched the news. They know what is going on in Japan and how scary it must be for not only the people who live there, but for anyone who has a loved on over there. Hell it's scary for me and I'm not really connected in anyway except as someone who has been watching what is going on in this world.

I'm just going to keep this simple and urge anyone who can to please donate and help out their fellow man. Even if all you can do is offer a prayer, please do it.

2011-03-11T03:03:00.000-05:00

The downside of cleaning your computer

2011-03-03T16:30:00.000-05:00

Back up your hard drive, he said. That way when you reinstall everything will be right where you need it, he said. Yeah well he was wrong. I lost some music. It's been almost a year since we upgraded my laptop and now of course I'm finding that I lost my screen writing software. Wost of all I can't remember what I used last. So I turned to twitter for help. I'm sure someone can remind as to a good software to use because Script Frenzy starts in April and I want to test stuff before I'm on a deadline. At least it was a free software, or else I would be really pissed. Also I pay for my tech support in candy. You get what you pay for I suppose.

Whatever.

Writer's block has finally, mostly, lifted. So I'm in a better mood than I was last week. Just really tired. My schedule has been a little off lately.

I need more coffee.

First or Last

2011-02-21T21:36:00.000-05:00

Remember when I said I was trying to read 211 books this year? You really should since it was only a few posts ago. Well so far I've read five books. Two of which were by the same author as one of my favorite books. Both of them ended up being compared to said favorite book. Both of them came up lacking in something. I won't name names because a) I'm not doing an actual review and b) I don't want to piss off any fans. I'll still read other books by this author and maybe it's just the mood I was in while I read them.

The first one I figured out the twist end within the first few chapters. It was a good and had some funny moments but like I said, I found it lacking something.

The second one just couldn't hold my attention for very long. Which might be more of a fault of mine than of the book itself.

C and I ended up talking about this and he asked me if I could have only one book that all my others were compared to would I rather it be my first one or my last one. Mofo likes to make me think. It's a catch 22 really. I mean if all my other stories suck who's to say anyone would want to read my last one and make it so successful? But if my first book is so successful how that hell am I going to live up to it? It's a lot of pressure. I'm not even talking about money wise I'm just talking about reader wise.

My final answer would have to be that if I write one thing someone likes than I'll be happy. First, last, middle. Whatever.

More Changes

2011-02-16T17:45:00.000-05:00

Since I have a raging case of writer's block I've decided to try and fix this blog up a bit more. As boring as it may be right now I would like it to look nice for anyone who reads it. So if you happen to check and things look messed up don't worry, I'll be trying to fix it as fast as I can.

Anyone who knows of a good place to get design tips for blogger please leave me a comment.

In which I scare a mail carrier

2011-02-15T21:26:00.000-05:00

This morning before he left from work C checked on a package he had been expecting. According to the website it listed as delivered. That was a surprise to us since there was no package or slip telling us to pick it up at the post office.

Cue him leaving for work and me twittering about the post office laying on their website.

Literally two minutes later I notice someone walking up my driveway with a package. Since it's cold and windy I didn't want them to leave it between the storm door and the regular front door, it was a fairly large package so it would keep the door open kind of wide, I rushed to open the door and grab it. Only problem was that the mail man was bending down at the time placing the box on the ground. Poor guy almost jumped out of his skin. Of course I apologized but I didn't get more of a mumbled " It's okay" as he walked away.

The rest of the day was business as usual. I want to open the package but I have to wait until C gets home. It's too well taped up for me to sneak even the smallest of peeks.

The dreaded "D" word

2011-02-08T16:41:00.000-05:00

It's the time of the year where I've realized I've become way too lax when it comes to my health. Between colds and the flu, the holidays, and of course my slacker nature what little working out I do sort of got put off. Eating healthy is, mostly, second nature to me. Don't get me wrong. I love my sweets but I also love my veggies.

This morning after feeling like crap for the first few hours after waking I decided it was time to go back on a diet and get into better shape. Once the nice weather hits it's going to be time for hiking and all that fun outdoors stuff. I can't enjoy it if I'm all out of breath and stuff.

Oh this should be fun.

Challenge Accepted

2011-02-01T23:08:00.000-05:00

Recently I have been both under the weather and slacking off a little too much. Although I have tried to write something to put up here many times all I've ended up with are horrible drafts mocking me. My delete button has received a lot of action over the past few weeks.

But the silence has to come to an end because I have been challenged to write at least one post a week for the rest of the year. The details of what I get besides the motivation to blog are still being ironed out. I should totally ask for a pony or something. That or a big bottle of whiskey. Maybe I should get the whiskey for myself and then blog. That should make things interesting.

I'm also trying to read at least 211 books this year. But that was more of a personal challenge because I missed reading and my "to read" list is longer than my arm. At the end I'll go buy a large pile of books and the cycle will repeat itself. Don't you love cycles? I do.

The tree saga

2011-01-12T18:05:00.000-05:00

"I got a rock"*

My Christmas tree is lovingly referred to as "our Charlie Brown tree". It's about three feet tall if you include the pot/stand it's in, pre-lit with muti coloured lights, and of course fake. The only real similarity is that most of the branches are a little messed up, buy if you were put in a box for most of the year you would probably be a little messed up too.

I keep meaning to buy a bigger tree, but I haven't found one I like enough yet. Plus we don't have a lot of room right now so this just works.

The thing is this since New Years day I've heard, " we need to take the tree down now" or some variation of that, daily. But we took it out late and I'm not ready to put it away yet.

C is tried to convince me people will think I'm crazy if they see it's still up. As if they don't think I'm crazy already? I know he can do better than that.

The other day he tired a new approach and asked what happens if it's still up in April. I told him it becomes a birthday tree for him. Of course that would mean it would have to stay up until May for my birthday.

But it won't get to that point. Eventually, and by eventually I mean probably this weekend, I'll wake up and it will have been taken care of.

But for right now it's up and staying that way.

* yay for inside jokes. Also my tree doesn't look like that, that's an actual tree made to look like the real Charlie Brown tree. I didn't even know they made these.

That's what I get for watching the news

2011-01-05T15:22:00.000-05:00

I had a very odd moment last night while watching the local news. A story came on about two men breaking into a coffee shop on Christmas day and they wanted the public's help identifying them. I was only half paying attention at first, but then they started to describe one of the suspects and they described one of my ex-boyfriends. Of course I looked up, but the video was blurry so that was no help.

I know what you're thinking. If I've been with my current guy for eleven years how the hell do I know what my ex looks like? Well it's all thanks to the joys of facebook and mutual friends. We broke up so long ago on good terms so when he tried to add me I accepted the friends request. Plus I bumped into him a year ago so I sorta had to look at him. It would have been odd not to.

So I'm sitting there listening to the news story and the whole time I'm thinking, " it can't be him...can it? Out of all the guys I dated he's the last one I would think would rob a coffee shop." Which then made me think about which one would be the one most likely to, and I figured it would be Steve*.

Then I remembered the massive photo upload the ex in question had just done and he wasn't even in town on Christmas day. So it saved me having to call into the tip hotline. Thank goodness because I really wasn't looking forward to that.

Besides the coffee shop was closed so there really wasn't anything there worth stealing. No baked goods, coffee, or money. I guess they could have stolen equipment but according to the news report they didn't. I would hope that anyone I dated would be smarter than that.

* Steve is not his real name and he wouldn't actually rob a coffee shop. Probably.

And now come the resolutions

2011-01-02T15:27:00.000-05:00

The holidays were pretty mellow at my house this year. My brother and sister-in-law came to stay with us for a few days which led to an unexpected mini road trip last Monday. Then C had most of last week off, and I think it was the most I've spent time with him all at once in a very long time. Now it's a new year and it's back to work for both of us.

Speaking of new years, it's time for those resolutions again.

I don't really do the whole resolution thing. Haven't in a few years because I noticed most years I was making the same ones, and obviously that meant I wasn't really following through with fixing what I felt needed to be fixed. At least not actively.

Of course I have goals for myself but they have nothing to do with it being a new year and everything to do with doing everything I want out of life. Plus I set these goals awhile ago.

But I wish anyone and everyone luck with their resolutions. I'm sure you'll do better than I ever did.

Happy Holidays

2010-12-25T22:45:00.000-05:00

One thing after another

2010-12-20T15:20:00.000-05:00

Just when I thought I had put the past couple months worth of stress behind me, my bathroom and closet get flooded. Actually both my bathrooms, the hallway, my closet, and part of the stairs get flooded. Some to a lesser degree than others.

You see our upstairs toilet has been acting funny. We did all the normal things you do when your toilet acts funny. Up until last week it had never overflowed though. It was minor and we thought it was fixed. Notice the italics, key word is thought.

Yesterday I went out and finished my last bit of shopping. Since I wasn't feeling so great I just wanted to relax before having to attack the rather long list of other things I had left to do. But my toilet had other plans....

First it just acted slow. While plunging it somehow flushes itself and the water level rises but it does not overflow, so we leave it to drain a bit. Which it does. So it's back to attacking the problem with a plunger. Thank goodness it was just clear water because this time it flushes itself and it overflows. Not just overflows but lets loose like it needs an exorcist. Water keeps going and ends up in the hall and then of course going down the stairs a bit. So glad we have wood floors.

But you see my bedroom is under that bathroom, and I have a smaller bathroom attached to my room. Water came down into that bathroom, and then somehow into my closet as well. Thankfully nothing was ruined.

Eventually we got everything dried, cleaned, and unclogged.

It wasn't exactly how I wanted to spend my Sunday night, but at least I finally got my closet cleaned out.

I sneezed and my head exploded

2010-11-29T23:47:00.000-05:00

Tylenol has lied to me. Their ultra relief migraine pills have not acted fast nor have they really relieved the pain. Every time it seems like maybe, just maybe, the pain in my head has been tamed I do something silly like sneeze or move and it's back to the throbbing pain.

Honestly if I didn't have so much to get done I might have just stayed in bed all day and hid from any source of light or loud noise. But sadly life doesn't always work that way. Why doesn't life work that way? Why can't we just stay in bed when we're sick and not have to worry or deal with the endless list of things that urgently need to be dealt with?

Being an adult is overrated.

You win this round washing machine

2010-11-24T16:52:00.000-05:00

It's bad enough that the dryer and fridge are my enemies but I thought at least you were my friend washer. Why is it that I put a nearly brand new shirt into you and then find a button from said shirt left behind when I switch the clothes over to the dryer? How exactly did you manage to cut the button off of the shirt anyway? Are you packing a blade or something? Really our neighborhood isn't that bad that you must resort to such measures. I assure you no one is going to steal you.

Now I have to explain to the male one of his work shirts was maimed by an appliance. Of course he won't believe me. I'm not even good at sewing buttons back onto things. They're always too loose or sewn in such a way that they are more detractive than functional. So thanks for that washing machine. No really I needed this today.

After two giant cups of coffee I finally lost all hope of actually finishing on time for NaNo this year. Which is fine, just sort of a bummer. I will at least finish the 750 word challenge and that's going to have to do.

Now comes the whole Christmas prep. Suddenly I have a headache.

Who needs sleep?

2010-11-19T11:37:00.000-05:00

Let me start this off by saying that almost every day this week I have been in bed by 11pm. For me this is early. But I have to be up at 6:30am so my usual bedtime of 3 or 4 am just wasn't going to work out. Problem is I will crash then wake up and for one reason or another, you know like my darling man taking up 90% of the bed so I can't get comfortable, it takes me awhile to get back to sleep.

This has led for me to be dragging my ass through most of the day and being super exhausted. This has also led to me come up with the insane idea that I need to start my NaNo story over.

" Maybe you need a fresh idea." The voice in the back of my head says. " Obviously you're stuck and that's why it's going so slow. Come on, you can do it."

I woke up my guy, who only mumbled something about giant waffles and then went back to sleep, but I'm taking it as him agreeing that it's a good idea.

So with ten days to do it in I am restarting my novel for NaNo. I have some time today so I grabbed myself some ice tea and will be spending the next couple of hours trying to get as much out as possible.

All wishes of luck and prayers for my sanity will be greatly appreciated.

So here's the deal

2010-11-17T12:06:00.000-05:00

Although I haven't fully given up on NaNo I have stopped looking at my word count at this point. I know I'm behind. I know that due to lack of time right now I probably won't be able to catch up. But I just can't just fully quit right now. At this point I'll look at my word count at the end of the month and if I finished on time awesome, and if I didn't well that's okay too. I will still have a novel at the end of this so I'll still be a winner of sorts.

With the way life has been recently I just haven't really had time time to work on NaNo as much as I need/want to. As disappointing as it is there really isn't much I can do about it.

On a brighter note the 750 word challenge is going much better. I haven't missed a day so far, but that's more because I'm not stopping and starting one story everything is just random everyday.

Now I'm really cold so I'm going to make some tea and try to get stuff done.

Six days in

2010-11-06T02:57:00.000-04:00

Too burned out...or drunk....to give you too much detail. And since this is my first update in almost a week it might be best if I just give you a point form update.

Only like 200 words finished
Trying not to freak out remembering that last year at this point I was worse off and I still finished one time.
Changed my idea twice.
Wishing my best friend lived closer because she lives too far away and she sort of keeps me sane. Or at the very least I'm not insane alone when she's around...even online.
I have kept up to date with my 750 words and I'm very proud of that.
My basement is now almost completely clean and cleared out
I heard Christmas music in Walmart today and I have to admit it made me happy. It's sort of a guilty pleasure of mine once November hits

Last night of sanity

2010-10-31T22:51:00.000-04:00

In just under two hours I'll start NaNo and the 750 words monthly challenge. I worked it out and I'm going to have to write at least 3,000 words a day to be on track. I'm making this harder on myself because I'm not just going to be copying and pasting 750 words from my NaNo project. I set aside time to work on that challenge separate from NaNo. I'm thinking that amazing time management is going to have to be my best friend this month.

Anyway I put up the word count widget over there, it probably won't always be accurate because I don't update my word count on the website everyday, both because I want to focus more on the writing than worrying about the word count all the time and because sometimes the website has issues when I'm taking a break so I can't update. You know high volume of visitors and all that jazz.

I'll still try to so my daily blogging on top everything. So keep your eyes peeled for some ranting.

On a side note who what the hell is up with that expression " keep your eyes peeled"? It's kind of gross and sounds painful.

Oh joy the insanity is starting.

See you next week.

2010-10-27T20:27:00.000-04:00

I have a lot of work to do and then I'm going to be spending time with C, so I figured I would post this early.

see more Bob's House of Video Games

Fallout New Vegas here I come. :)

I have a badge and everything

2010-10-25T15:34:00.000-04:00

So I did something a little crazy. In fact when I told people what I was doing they told me it was crazy so you don't just have to take my word on that. Although you really should. I thought we had a little more trust in each other.

Anyway on top of trying to win NaNo once again this year I signed up for the 750 words monthly challenge. What's the 750 words monthly challenge I hear you ask. Well it means you have to write at least 750 words a day, every day, for a month. You don't have to sign up for the challenge. You can just go and write on the site. So far I've gone everyday since I found the site. I'm on a eleven day streak.

Problem is I had a slight moment of weakness in the early hours of the morning. I was seriously thinking I might not attempt NaNo again this year and just make sure I wrote everyday. I wrote till the very last moment last year to get my novel done on time. In my sleep deprived mind I was wondering if it was worth it. I sign up for these things because I like the challenge and they help me push my inner slacker. But really, is it worth it?

Then I remembered my cheering squad who really and truly believe in me. Who let me vent to them, who get me tea or coffee when I'm in the middle of a chapter and can't tear myself away, and who most of all give me the words of encouragement when I need them.

I also remember how it felt when I submitted my novel for the last word check and got my winner's certificate. Sure I had to print it off myself, but that's not the point.

So I scrapped the idea of not doing it.

Plus when I went to the site they had the new badges. Once you have the badge there is no turning back and this one has a monkey...a freaking monkey. Who could pass that up.

Random Update is Random

2010-10-24T21:17:00.000-04:00

" So we're like magic mushrooms. Powerful enough to kill each other but somehow we don't and just make each other's lives more interesting....or something." - C on our relationship.

Taken out of context that might look bad, or not even make sense, but trust me when I say that it fits and it's awesome. That's why he's the man I'm going to marry. And I've actually started planning the freaking wedding.

I'm in major freak out mode right now and he's not here to talk me down from the figurative ledge. Which is part of the reason I'm in freak out mode. The other's aren't really something I want to put on a public blog, or really talk about at all, except NaNo starts next week. So I'm going to try focusing on that in the hopes it distracts me until he comes home and I can jump him.

Wait that sounded bad. I mean...you know what never mind I won't be able to explain it anyway.

I swear I'm going to get back into the swing of things soon.

Hey There Cthulhu

2010-10-16T01:30:00.001-04:00

NaNo Prep

2010-10-14T18:19:00.000-04:00

Now that I've, mostly, recovered from Thanksgiving and having a cold I'm back. I hope anyone from Canada that's reading this had a good holiday weekend, and everyone else just had a good week.

So now it's time to get ready for NaNo.

Last year I won. Yay!

There was a lot of crying, changing ideas, and fights. Both fictional and non.

Of course I'm lucky and will have some nice people cheering me on, and a cat holding me down so I can't wonder off when I should be writing.

No seriously, he's always laying on me now and gets really crabby when I try to move. Right now I moved my foot and got a death glare. So technically I can move him but neither of us want me to. Plus it's a good excuse as to why I can't get up.

Back to the whole prep thing. I signed up for a site called 750 words, which I think is going to be helpful. You get to write whatever you want, as long as it's 750 words, and it's kept private. It's good practice for the road ahead where I'm going to have to write basically double that. They even have monthly challenges to get you doing it daily.

I think I'll sign up for that in December.

The Anniversary

2010-10-06T19:58:00.000-04:00

Remember a few posts back where I got all mushy because my guy was away? Remember how I said that I would tell anyone who cared exactly how long we've been together and such? Well today is our 11th anniversary.

Even though we're not officially married we still feel like it. It's been a long eleven years. We've gone through a lot together and thankfully we've been able to make it work. I seriously can't picture being with anyone but him. I won't say we're perfect, just sort of perfect for each other.

The truth is I get him, he gets me and somehow our crazy keeps us together. That's really all you can ask for in life. Someone who gets you.

So I love you Babe. It's been a hell of a ride and I can't wait to see what happens next.

Last night he gave me a gun

2010-10-05T00:05:00.000-04:00

Don't get too excited or anything. It's a paint ball gun. Unless you're planning to rob me, then it's a real scary gun and I've got good aim. I'll shoot your big toe off and then you won't be able to balance properly, or so I've been told, and really nothing in my house is worth losing your sense of balance.

But really he brought home a paint ball gun and eventually the plan is for me to go with him to shoot people. Because nothing is more romantic than shooting people with exploding balls filled with goo. Or each other. Then it makes it twice as romantic. I've seen what that stuff looks like once it's dried. It's not pretty. Since I'm a lady I won't clarify more than saying it looks like you've taken a few shots of something else.

I doubt this was my anniversary gift. Or at least I'm really hoping that it isn't since technically this was more for him than me. I'm not greedy I'll take a new mug since my favorite one had an untimely demise or more tea/coffee. Although I literally have at least a year's supply of tea, but really can anyone have too much tea or coffee in their house?

Countdown time

2010-10-03T17:32:00.000-04:00

Three days until the anniversary

Six days until Thanksgiving dinner needs to be done.

Twenty-eight days until NaNoWriMo '10 begins.

So this week/month is going to be a busy one for sure. I can't believe it's already October. Where the hell did the year go? I am going to have to multi-task for my life. But don't worry I'm going to try keeping this blog in order so that there is a record of my insanity.

I have been having a few technical difficulties with my internet again. Hopefully that won't be an issue again. Otherwise I'm going to let the guy take the router out back and shoot it. Or at least let him hit it with an axe when he's doing the firewood.

Kidding....kind of.

I'm drawing a blank

2010-09-15T17:33:00.000-04:00

With being under the weather I'm coming up with a blank as to what to blog about. There are only so many times people can read about you feeling exhausted before they tune you out. Trust me it's as boring to write about as it is to read about.

Speaking of writing I'm coming up blank there too. Writer's block has slowly but effectively set in. Anything that I do write is utter crap and ends up being deleted. I'm not even being overly dramatic. It is all scattered and basically unreadable. Just like my thoughts right now.

At least I have the weekend to look forward to and the other half being here to help me. We have to attack our yard because with all the rain we've been having it's grown a lot but we haven't been able to work out there to get it back under control. Plus we have a lot of trees and there are leaves already starting to fall.

Ok enough boring update for today.

So Drained

2010-09-14T21:38:00.000-04:00

I have like zero energy. I'm blaming the cold and I'm hoping that this ends soon because I would like to be a little more productive than I've been lately. As I've said before the fall is a hectic time in my house and I really can't let myself get behind. I need to drink like a pot of coffee or something and get my butt in gear. Tea might be a better option though since I'm still feeling sick.

Switching gears I wanted to let everyone/anyone who reads this I now have a formspring account. The link is in the bookmark section as " Ask me Anything". Feel free to us it.

Before this gets even more random I'm going to go figure out how I'm going to wake myself up and hope I can be a little more interesting in my next update.

Already?

2010-09-13T15:43:00.000-04:00

It's only the second week of September and already I caught a cold. Needless to say I'm not happy. I'm just hoping this isn't a sign of what's to come. I do not want to spend all fall and winter being ill off and on. I try my best to avoid getting sick.

I had a minor sore throat on Friday but large amounts of liquids, both hot and cold, seemed to help that fade quickly. Now I'm just dealing with a stuffy head and feeling pretty run down.

Plus my thoughts are scattered more than usual so I'm off to make myself some tea and to try getting another chapter done.

Do we really need more hate?

2010-09-09T14:05:00.000-04:00

Religion is a topic I avoid talking about as much as possible. People are going to believe what they want to believe, and if you're not hurting anyone I don't see a problem in that. It's when people use God as a reason to harm others that I get really mad.

So when I found out about a Pastor's plans to burn the Koran it was outrageous to me. How could anyone think it was okay to burn another religion's holy book? I'm against book burning on a whole but this is especially rage inducing. Oh and then to add a cherry on top of this hate sundae they're going to do this on Sept. 11th. So not only are you doing something really dumb but you're doing it on a day that should be used to remember people. Awesome. No really way to go. A+ on originality too.

Look you want to be angry with someone that's fine but you can't take it out on a whole religion. It's not their fault people take things to such a horrible level. You know kind of like what this church is doing. Seriously you're going to find people like that in almost any religion. The ones who will twist any little thing to make their point seem somehow righteous.

Not to mention this has so many repercussions and NO ONE thinks it's okay except for this Pastor and his followers. Of course he doesn't care about any of that. Which makes me even sicker.

The world doesn't need this shit. Really it doesn't.

You do something to me that I can't explain*

2010-09-09T04:42:00.000-04:00

The other half is away right now. Hence being really sappy and using lyrics from one of "our" songs as the subject for this 4am post. Just so you're not off googling instead of reading it's I Miss You by Incubus. Yes we've been together long enough to have an Incubus song as one of our songs. You'll find out just how long, if I haven't written about it here yet, next month. I don't want to get too sentimental right now. Hint: It's been a long freaking time

I can cope with him being away. I mean it sucks but I can keep the house from burning down, honestly he's more likely to burn it down. It's the other little things I miss. Like dealing with the giant spider that tried to kill me in the shower, and that itch right in the middle of my back that no matter what position I bend myself into I just can't reach. I miss the pocket at night. Which I won't explain except to say it's nothing dirty.

Oh and the way when it's really hot his feet are like blocks of ice and I can put my leg against them and cool down. Seriously it's freaky because for the most part he runs hot except his feet. And it's been hot in our room when I'm trying to sleep.

So I'm essentially sleep deprived right now. I would be cleaning except I'm too lazy to get my awesome vacuum out and that's what needs to be done. I'm also waiting for a text message. Apparently he has no voice when he's away from me cause he doesn't call. It's all texts. Lovely huh? Maybe I should use this time to hide all his socks..or his pants. Yeah pants might be best.

Oh fuck I need sleep. And my guy...I guess.

* I figured out what it is. You drive me insane. But I love you so it's okay.

It's been one of those days

2010-08-24T23:40:00.000-04:00

It's not that it was a bad day. Just, unfocused. I woke up unable to breath through one of my nostrils. Something that is both very annoying and should have been easily remedied with a pill. It took a bit but when it kicked in I became really dopey. I seriously could have fallen asleep if I had closed my eyes longer than it takes to blink. I asked my guy if we could take a nap before he left for work. Mind you this was right before he had to leave so the answer was no. Meanie.

But somehow I got it together enough to finish what needed to be done and start plotting a new story. One that hopefully won't fizzle out on me. I also started a playlist to go along with it. You know set the mood and all that. Since music is one of the loves of my life you would think that it would go smooth. I got distracted, a common thing today, and ended up spending most of the rest of the day randomly going from one thing to the next.

Now I'm sitting here sipping some Diet Sprite because my stomach seems to be rebelling against me. As I'm sure you wanted to know. Don't worry it's nothing gross...yet anyway. I've kept all fluids down it's just more like discomfort.

I'm going to quit before I'm ahead here and get back to plotting before I start dinner.

Let's face it, I'm Lazy

2010-08-23T15:14:00.000-04:00

I've tried blogging every day but always ended up deleting it before posting. Soooo many drafts have been deleted so as to not leave a record of my failure. Although this blog seems to be just that at this point. Poor thing isn't even fully set up with links and all that. It just sits here alone do to my laziness.

I might have held off on attempting to write a new post if my cat hadn't fallen on me while I was trying to click on my Gmail causing me to hit blogger instead. Uh oh. There's a dirty joke in there somewhere. I'm sure it will be pointed out later. Or it won't and I just have a dirty mind.

Does anyone even read this?

Maybe blogs are just a socially acceptable way of talking to ourselves in public. Blogs and Bluetooth headsets. Think about it. Can you actually be sure someone is on the other end of that thing?

Ok this is getting a little too random, time to get back on track. I'm lazy. You know it, I know it, my cats know it ( and judge me for it). So once again I must try and put a stop to this and you know actually blog. Cause I totally have stuff to say. Really...I swear.

I kinda fail at being an adult

2010-08-05T19:03:00.000-04:00

Look I'm a fairly responsible person. Due to my age I have to at least act like an adult most of the time, I can fake it amazingly well when I need to. Oh that sounded bad...that's not what I meant and a whole other post entirely.

Moving along.

This week I have been trying to be very grown up and deal with the budget. There is a lot going on in the next few months and well a lot of it is going to need money. The sad part is I know that no matter what plan I make I'll end up blowing my budget. Oh I'll try and be good, but I know I'll cave on one thing or another. At least I make sure my various household bills are covered....I get points for that right?

I've also sort of been slacking in a lot of areas and not being as responsible as I should be at my age. My "to do" list is longer than it should be by oh, let's say a mile give or take a line or two. I know this makes for a very boring post but it's what's on my mind right now.

I'll be witty later. Maybe.

I know, I know Part Two...

2010-07-30T05:21:00.000-04:00

I'll do better next week I promise

I know, I know

2010-07-26T17:02:00.000-04:00

It's been almost a month since my last post. Why? Well I could tell you it was because I was off fighting zombies and now that they're all dead again I can return to my comfortable life of blogging. But it would be a lie and I don't want to lie to you. Honestly I don't have a good reason. Time just sort of got away from me and I didn't have much to blog about.

But in an effort to make amends let me share something that combines two things I adore.

I know you really wouldn't think that regency and fight club would go together but I guess you're wrong. Or you still don't think they do and you believe this is stupid....and well....I don't know how I feel about that at all.

Yeah, titles just aren't my thing right now

2010-06-30T00:00:00.000-04:00

I'm so exhausted I'm almost zombified. Note I said almost, meaning I'm not actually a zombie so there is no need to separate my head from the rest of my body. Stand down until the actual zombie attacks begin.

Let's see what's going on in my life.

There was an earthquake here last week. Minor but still I felt the earth moving and I wasn't drunk. I was sitting with my father and my guy when it happened. I looked up at my guy and said, " Are we having an earthquake?" He shrugged and my father went outside. Why? I don't know.
I've changed the design of this blog at least five times, can't say I won't do it again.
Changed the name of the blog to fit it's content a little more.
Watched three and a half seasons of "OZ".
Broke and fixed my Xbox 360. That's right I'm a girl gamer.
There was some writing done as well.

The rest of the stuff if boring. I'm sure no one wants to read about me cleaning the fridge and swearing at it due to it's very poorly laid out crisper drawers. By the way there may be some sort of portal in my fridge because food inside of it disappears then re-appears once it's no good anymore. Perhaps gnomes are involved and they chill out with the ones that cause the missing socks from the dryer.

In Loving Memory

2010-06-15T17:43:00.001-04:00

Four years ago today I was awakened by a phone call at 7am to tell me my Nana had passed away. It wasn't completely unexpected due to her being ill, but it still upset me a great deal.

What was an already stressful time became even more so because we were already dealing with buying a house and everything that comes along with moving. Now there were funereal arrangements to help my Mom with, and also supporting her while she dealt with the fact she just lost her Mother. My Grandfather died a few years earlier so she had now lost both her parents and that is a really rough thing to deal with. Even the thought of losing my parents depresses me to no end.

The whole time I just tired to focus on everything else because I didn't want to think about what I had just lost. Because it really was more than just my Nana.

I lost all the moments I had always pictured from childhood. She wasn't going to be at my wedding, my children would never be able to meet her... I just kept thinking about all the things I would never be able to do with my Nana again. And I cried. A lot.

Now four years later the pain isn't as bad. You get used to that person not being there in the way they once were. I'll remember my Nana on my wedding day, carry something of hers when I walk down the aisle maybe. I'll tell my children about her and show them her pictures. It's not the same as having her there with us physically but at least she'll be there in spirit.

Changes

2010-06-13T17:16:00.001-04:00

Blogger had new layouts and I was all for a little face lift on the blog now that I'm using it more often, so as you can see I've switched a few things around. I'll probably do it a few more times before I settle on one and stick with it. Some say I'm indecisive, but I just don't like to settle.

I'll also be adding more bookmark things too cause my list is looking a little wimpy and there are some site I feel are worth sharing. People can see how I waste my time when I'm not you know...actually writing. Which I swear I totally do...really...stop looking at me like that. Why must you judge?

Also the posts are more about my life rather then just my writing. Mainly because I want to actually update and sometimes I just don't want to talk about how my spell check hates me, or how annoying it is when "overwrite" rather than "insert" is clicked on and how I've totally messed up some good paragraphs because I wanted to fix on tiny mistake. Always double check...always.

Anyway it would be boring for me to write and you to read. You'll still get a few of those posts cause like I said I'm still writing, but now you'll get even more of my boring life. Maybe I should change the name of the blog to " My Boring Life"...No? You don't like that? Okay I won't then.

Main point I'm getting at is that things are changing. I'm not always good with change so it might take awhile for me to get it right. Be gentle please.

You brought this on yourself

2010-06-08T22:32:00.000-04:00

In case anyone wanted to know, there was 100% less fire in the oven last night. No smoke either. As I said to my friend Shell, I don't know if that made me happy or if I was disappointed.

Anyway the mister read yesterday's post because I wondered what it looked like on the iPhone. He has one and I don't so I sent him the address and he kindly told me it looked nice....but he could just be saying that because we sleep in the same bed. It's a nice bed too. Queen sized with a pillow top. Much better then the old double we had when we first started living together. The only thing I miss about our old bed was that we were always so close. A pain in the ass at the time or in the summer when it's too hot to move let alone have someone else's body heat near you. Wait, I'm getting off topic aren't I?

The point I was trying to get to was that when he came home he sat down and made a comment about me talking about walking on mattresses.

" You never read my blog, do you?" I asked. I'll admit I was a little offended since I figured at least he read it.

He looked mildly guilty and then a few minutes later showed me the little bookmark he made on his iPhone. Thus he earned himself another post solely about him...and mattresses.

You know I'm beginning to wonder if my poor sleep habits lately have made me obsessed with beds.

Smoke in the kitchen

2010-06-07T17:58:00.001-04:00

So I got the following text message, " When I get home I'll make you nachos like last night but with 30% less fire". It was from my guy who upon coming home last night nearly set fire to our oven. It totally wasn't his fault but funny none the less. The look on his face when he opened the oven and the smoke came pouring out was fucking priceless. Since there was so much leftover I guess him and the oven are going for a round two.

I was having a bad day before I got that message. I step in water or something within two minutes of putting on clean socks, I can't find one of my notebooks and of course it's the one I need, blah..blah..blah. But I got that message and it made my day a lot better. At that point I was taking a sip of a drink, which is now stuck in my nasal cavity*, but that's a small price to pay for the happiness those few words gave me.

It also reminds me why things work so well between him and I. Even when he's not home and we're texting about what we're going to have for dinner and which bills are paid, without even trying, he'll make my whole day better. Of course the down side is he can also use his powers for evil as well as good. But normally he sticks to good.

(* Between him, my mother, and my friend S this has happened a lot the past couple of months...I'm beginning to wonder if soon everything will just smell like juice or diet pepsi)

Oh joy I'm updating

2010-05-31T16:00:00.001-04:00

The past couple of weeks have been busy. I'm officially another year older, even though I don't want to be. I mean I want to still be alive and everything. I'm just not too keen on being another year closer to thirty. People expect you to act like a grown up and really that's not always my thing.

My guy has been sick and he then gave it to me. Worst. Birthday. Gift. Ever. It was 85 degrees in the house and I'm coughing away with a fever not being able to breath. There was also a very awkward moment when I realized I was sort of tripping out because I accidentally over medicated.

No really I did. I took some cough syrup, forgot, then took some sinus stuff because head was pounding and I wanted to breath through my nose again. I really don't want to make that mistake again. I stood up and I swore I could feel the floor moving with my feet, like I was walking on a mattress and not hardwood. I really don't suggest anyone doing that cause it just makes you feel sicker and dizzy in the long run. The over medicating, not the walking on mattress'.

Anyway enough tales of my own stupidity.

Birthdays and Diets....two things I dislike but am currently facing

2010-05-12T15:25:00.000-04:00

In just under eleven days I'll be another year closer to thirty, and I'm not happy about that. In fact I started disliking my birthday once I hit nineteen and wanted to stop them altogether once I hit twenty two. Of course since I haven't perfected that whole freezing time thing it's just not possible. Even if I ignore it it's still going to happen and I'll still technically be another year older.

Anyway this...event..has caused me to start thinking about a few things, mainly where the hell am I going with my life? I got the whole " what do I want to be when I grow up" thing covered (mostly). So now I just need to get the rest of my shit together. So of course I've put myself on a diet. It's not for vanity it's more because I want to be healthier..I'm going to have kids sooner or later and I know what I was like as a child. I'll need all the energy I can get so I'm going to need to be in the best shape possible.

It's been how long?

2010-05-06T16:54:00.000-04:00

So a month without an update, well that's not good. There is no good reason for it to have been that long since my last post. Especially since I didn't even get close to finishing my script for script frenzy. So that idea is for sure going to be turned into a novel at some point. Some with the other idea that didn't get expanded on. I know that sounds vague but I'm just a vague person sometimes.

In other news I'm currently being research blocked by a very bad printer. He has decided that he does not want to print off anything until further notice. Which is a little challenging since I like having a hard copy of things to go over to highlight the important bits and make my notes with. Makes it so much easier when you need to double check your facts. Hopefully this weekend I can have my guy look at it and see if he can get it to work again.

And now it's off to finish a few household chores. Might as well channel my energy into something productive if I can't be writing.

Who are you writing for?

2010-04-07T15:45:00.000-04:00

Last night a friend and I were talking about writing and the topic of readers came up. Now of course when you work hard on a story you ultimately want someone else out there to enjoy it. When you writing an article of course you always have to keep the reader in mind, but when it comes to a novel it can be tricky.

Worrying about the reader can hinder you when you're writing a novel. When you're already doubting how good your work is getting caught up in the " who will read this?" trap can really derail you.

Yes you need to have an audience in mind when you're going about genre and when you get to the point of publishing but when you're getting into your story you need to find a way to forget them and write for yourself. At least that was what I was once told, and I find that advice has helped me in the wee hours of the morning when my finger is hovering over that delete key.

Once you're content with your story than you can worry what others might think of it. After all no one will ever read it if you can't get it on paper and out there for the world to see.

Script..not going so well

2010-04-05T23:54:00.002-04:00

So we changed the whole idea we had for the script the night before script frenzy started so we were back to square one. Now we're behind because we haven't been able to write as much as we intended. This weekend is going to be spent trying very hard to catch up.

It's really frustrating because we're both really excited about this idea. I can totally see everything in my head. I think if we can't get it out in script form we may end up turning it into just a regular novel. Plus we have that other outline we'd done for our original outline that we're going to have to do something with. I'm not sure if we'll do a graphic novel or a film script. It guess it depends on how script frenzy works out for us.

6 Days Until the Frenzy

2010-03-27T02:30:00.002-04:00

My writing partner and I had a good meeting today about what we want to write. I have the writing software reinstalled on my computer. So I think we're pretty much ready for Thursday.

I think this might call for more caffeine than NaNoWriMo did. There are going to be a lot of late nights in April.

I just hope we don't get half way in and either run out of steam or start fighting.

Test Test

2010-03-16T14:06:00.002-04:00

Last week I had some..well actually a lot...of problems with my computer. I'm still having a slight issue with my space bar sticking. It's really annoying because I'm used to typing fast and won't always notice all my words are running together right away.

Anyway the weather has been kind of nice lately, even with all the rain we got on the weekend. I'm hoping that it's better this weekend so we can get the yard all cleaned up from the winter. Some branches fell and such, plus I'm guessing I can put away the snow shovels for this year.

Okay this is taking a lot longer than I expected with the space bar messing up so I guess it's just a short update today.

Script Frenzy

2010-03-09T14:30:00.003-05:00

In a few short weeks it's going to be time for Script Frenzy again. I am both looking forward to and dreading this event.

I'm not sure what exactly I'm going to write, or what. I've been toying with the idea of doing a graphic novel for awhile and this might just be the push I need.

Hopefully by April 1st I have everything set and I don't end up falling behind on the first day. There is also the possibility I'll be working with a partner but I have to double check.

Okay this seems like a lame entry but seriously between technical problems and my brain not wanting to wake up today I'm happy I can even post today. Gotta take happiness for the small victories.

This so seems to fit my life

2010-03-02T16:54:00.002-05:00

"My ambition is handicapped by my laziness." -Charles Bukowski

This is one of my favorite quotes. It seems to fit my life in more ways than I can even explain, and I'm not the only one who thinks so.

But I don't really have time to blog today. Today I'm actually not being lazy so I have to get back to juggling my writing and the dishes.....which in a way can be helpful. I can't tell you how many problems I've fixed while looking out my kitchen window while doing the dishes.

Back to the beginning

2010-03-01T14:55:00.008-05:00

Today I'm restarting one of my stories. I always worry if I'm doing the right thing when I do stuff like this. When you're writing by hand it's not as hard to set aside what you're working on and try the new idea for how you want the story to go, if it doesn't work you just go back to the original draft. On the computer it's not so easy because I end up with a bunch of half started stories taking up space. So I, mostly, stopped doing that and just go for the clean sweep. I take fairly good notes and nine times our of ten it works out fine but there is always the tenth time. That tenth time is what causes the worry and doubt.

I've decided to ignore the little voice in the back of my head. So now I'm sitting here with some ice water and my finger is hovering over the "delete" key. Not literally obviously since I'm currently typing this out, but the text in the document is already highlighted I just have to click back onto Open Office and hit the key.

Don't get me wrong. I'm not coming at this from a "woe is me" point of view or anything. I'm a big girl and this is my choice so really I have no one to blame but myself....and that tricky muse I seem to have. Sometimes my muse is quite the bitch. But that is a whole other post entirely.

Oops..

2010-02-25T14:53:00.005-05:00

Mistakes happen. It's a fact of life that we've long since become accustomed to. So when I found the following types of mistakes in the manuscript I'm currently editing I just sort of rolled my eyes at my own silliness.

Changing, not one but two, character's names randomly in the middle of the story.
Wrong wording aka spelling the word right but it wasn't the word it should have been. This is either due to spell check or my overworked brain.
A giant plot twist that is very poorly explained. This literally caused me to make the "wtf?" face while reading.
One character simply vanishes, and it wasn't intentional

I'm cutting myself a little slack since this was my NaNo novel and I was rushing to keep up. I had to play catch up a lot due to technical issues. This is why I kept setting it aside though, I knew it was going to be bad and I didn't want to get too discouraged.

I always knew it would need heavy re working, at least now I know where I stand and can go from there.

So apparently I lied...

2010-02-22T16:19:00.003-05:00

As you can see the whole daily blogging thing didn't happen when I wanted it to. I've been putting all my energy into working when I'm on the computer and the blogging sorta landed on the back burner. It's not like there was much to talk about anyway.

So why do you even have a blog?

Well, technically I have two. This one for my writing and general life stuff. Which as you can see is really bad at the moment. My other one is for more personal stuff which is on another site and locked so that only friends can read it. It's not that I have some big secret I just like to know who knows what about me.

I also have twitter, and that doesn't get updated much at the moment either.

Maybe it's because I've had a one track mind lately. I've either been editing or working on my new project. The re-writes on my NaNoWriMo novel are going to have to start soon, but I'll rant about that in another post. Trust me I have a lot to rant about.

Anyway, no more lies. Starting this week I shall blog at least a couple times a week. I don't want to say daily and than not do it. I'll try my best but at the very least it will be two posts a week.

Death and Illness

2010-02-09T02:51:00.004-05:00

Ever get sick and you just can't shake it? That's what happened to me and to be honest I'm still not feeling up to par. Anyway due to this I haven't really had much to blog about. As fun as hearing me complain about the various aches and annoyances might have been I thought it best to spare anyone reading this from that.

Yesterday there was a death in the family. It was one of my kitties, but he was still a part of my family and I loved him more than I like a lot of people. So needless to say it was heartbreaking to lose him.

On a brighter note I am hoping to start blogging daily this week. As they say something is better than nothing and I really don't see the point of having this if I am not going to actually use it.

Let's hope this doesn't end in tears.

4 am

2010-01-23T04:25:00.003-05:00

Every now and then inspiration with strike at the worst possible time. Typically the idea will just be put into a notebook so it won't be forgotten and can be worked on at a later date. The muse is happy, the writer is happy...win/win situation.

Except sometimes that doesn't work. The idea just won't go away and you feel like if you don't write right now everything is lost....okay that sounds a little over dramatic but it's sort of the truth. It is also just as frustrating as writer's block.

Right now I'm facing that problem. It's almost five in the morning and I have to get some sleep. There is no possible way I can stay up and write when I'm nearly falling asleep at the computer. Not to mention I want to finish up another story before I start I anything new.

All I can do right now is finishing making my notes and crawl into bed hoping everything will work out in the morning.

At least my paper cut isn't bothering me anymore.

Blood on the manuscript

2010-01-20T18:59:00.003-05:00

Okay not literally, but I have received far too many paper cuts this week. One of which is at the base of my thumb and fairly deep. It is very annoying because it's the only one that still hurts and it feels like it re opens when I move my thumb too much.

" Keep it still." I hear you say.

Well I would but since it's on my right hand and I'm right handed I can't not move it without essentially stopping everything else that I need my hand for. Right now I just can't do that. There is too much for me to get done.

I know it's a small complaint but the small things are adding up this week.

The Week Begins...

2010-01-17T23:40:00.004-05:00

Writing out the weekly "to do" list is helpful and all but sometimes I wonder why I bother. It's supposed to remind me but it doesn't help when I forget to add things to the list. Sometimes I'll even lose the freaking list. Very annoying.

Gmail has a nice little "tasks" program that I've been using a lot lately. You can't lose something if it's connected to your email, right?

Yes I am this boring. I've spent the night updating Open Office, watching Sunshine Cleaners, and doing my weekly "tasks" list. I also printed out a first draft of my current work in progress but my printer did all the work so I won't take the credit for it. But I had some good company so I can't complain about it being boring, I'm embracing the boring parts because that will make all the exciting things better.

Getting back to work

2010-01-13T18:16:00.003-05:00

Over the holidays I went into a sort of hibernation mode and I'm finding it quite hard to shake off. I'm very easily distracted right now and that's not good at all.

I have a novel to edit and I have a feeling I will end up doing some heavy rewriting to it. It's my NaNoWriMo novel so when I was writing it I was just trying to get all of my idea out there and not exactly paying much attention to the quality. That's a horrible thing to say but it's the truth. I've actually been avoiding it out of fear. I'm worried about how bad it might be.

I guess it's the perfectionist in me that causes this worry but I have to get over it. This isn't the first time I've had to deal with this and I'm sure it would be the last.

Happy New Year

2010-01-01T21:20:00.002-05:00

Everyone I know is talking about their resolutions, but I didn't make any this year. Sure there are things I want to do this year but I think if I make them resolutions it will just jinx things. I never follow through them no matter how much I want to or how hard I try.

I hope that everyone else has luck with their resolutions. May 2010 be great for all of us. :)

I know..I know

2009-12-21T00:33:00.002-05:00

I have to keep up with the blog. Even if I have nothing to say..which may be boring but it also makes it more of a reflex to blog when something exciting happens.

So what has the writer girl been up to? Let's see...

~Running around trying to get my Christmas shopping done. Unless my partner in crime tells me he needs me to pick up something for his office party (i.e secret Santa) I am finally finished. Now everything is wrapped and waiting to be given.

~Working on the outline to a new short story that may or may not end up being a full novel. It all depends on what happens once I start writing.

~Watching the pretty snow fall then getting all pissed off when I remember we have to shovel it out of the driveway. I love snow..not the clean up.

~ Reading. Lots and lots of reading but I'll get to that in a later entry.

~ Making random people laugh at the gas station with witty banter between the partner in crime and myself.

~Typing up pointless blog entries, not posting them, deleting the drafts, then starting the cycle over until someone asks me why I haven't posted that much this month.

So there you go. I will try to do better from here.

The Eventful Weekend

2009-12-07T10:56:00.003-05:00

A lot happened for me this weekend. I got over half my Christmas shopping done and now I just have to pack up those gifts so that they can be mailed this week. It might be cutting it a little close but they should arrive at their final destinations by Christmas.

I also got myself a writing partner. It started with an idea over breakfast and it just snowballed. Next thing I know we're bouncing ideas off each other and deciding that we should go for it.

Typically I like to work alone. I can go at my own pace, there is no one else to blame if something is messed up, and don't have to worry about someone not pulling their weight. But I know I can trust this person and if it doesn't work out I'll lose nothing.

Right now I'm working on the outline so we know what needs research and we can get started. I'm not sure how much time we'll have to put into everything between other work and the holidays but even a slow trickle is better than nothing.

Days 23-30: My Wrists Hurt

2009-12-01T15:50:00.003-05:00

As you can see there is a reason to my lack of updates. I finally completed NaNoWriMo! I've just been pouring all my time and energy into the final days, in fact I was writing up until the final moments.

Now the fun of re-reading and editing comes, but I'm taking a little time off from that story so I can look at it with fresh eyes.

I have other stories that need my time and attention, plus it's now the holiday season and I have a lot to get done for that.

To all the other winners out there congratulations.

To all those who participated but didn't finish on time don't worry, there is always next year.

Now I'm going to rest a little because I'm out of steam.

Days 16-22: S.O.S

2009-11-23T18:07:00.002-05:00

I've had my word program crash many times, one time it deleted my whole novel so far and my back up was missing a chapter and a half. Cue some frantic re writing on my part.

My wrists feel like they might fall off.

I can't believe there is less than a week left.

Send caffeine

Days 14 & 15: Half way there

2009-11-16T17:25:00.002-05:00

It's the half way point of NaNo and it's terrifying more than encouraging. That could be because I'm still behind in my word count. At least I know I'm not alone. I've noticed a few people on twitter and in their blogs saying they're behind. I don't enjoy knowing this because but it's still a comfort knowing somewhere out there someone is having the same problem as I am.

I wish everyone out there who is sticking with it the best of luck, and hope you don't get discouraged.

Days 11,12, & 13: Oops

2009-11-14T18:16:00.003-05:00

I've been writing until my fingers feel like that might fall off trying to catch up on my word count. Sorry I haven't updated the past couple of days, not that what I say is that exciting anyway.

The word count is steadily raising and I'm feeling pretty confident that by Sunday I'll be back on track completely.

Day 10: On a roll

2009-11-11T19:20:00.002-05:00

Writer's block broke so I'm channeling all my energy into my novel. So here's a pretty picture from my inspiration folder. I love black and white photography.

Hopefully tomorrow you'll get a real update.

Day 9: A cute way to express my feelings

2009-11-10T23:20:00.004-05:00

Day 8: Let the Sun Shine

2009-11-09T15:07:00.002-05:00

Ended up raking the yard since the weather was so beautiful. It's been rainy and cold for the past while and since there were a lot of leaves that needed to be dealt with I figured I would take advantage of unseasonal weather.

I did do a lot of plotting in my head though. Which of course is a very good thing because I was feeling a little lost. It's only the 8th day and that's really not what I want to be feeling.

Now I am feeling much better. :)

Day 7: Oh Hello Outside World

2009-11-08T23:45:00.003-05:00

No writing was done. The silly think called life got in the way and most of the day was spent running around trying to get a whole lot done in not a lot of time. By the time I got home I was too tired to form a proper sentence, or any sentence really.

The break may have been good for me. You know the whole " seeing this through fresh eyes" deal. I'm going to go with no.

At least I got new headphones so I can block out all the distracting sounds from outside with music.

Day 6: Screw it

2009-11-07T19:14:00.002-05:00

After much inner debate I restarted. It seems too early to have this many problems already but I guess I would much rather deal with this stuff early.

Hopefully this time I am back on track and will stay that way. I'm just going to be running on even less sleep than before.

Day 5: Opps

2009-11-06T17:21:00.003-05:00

Remember that brick wall? It's back and this time it's pissed. Or perhaps my imagination is running wild. Either way there is a brick wall that needs to be removed and this time it just sort of popped up out of the blue.

Okay so what's the solution? Well, I have no clue. Either I try back tracking and hope it works out or I attempt a restart. I'm not happy with either option.

It does not help that as I was trying to weigh my options I ended in the middle of a conversation I did not want to be in, totally killed my flow.

Please let day six be better.

( spoiler alert: it's not any better)

Day 4: I only have how many words?!

2009-11-05T17:07:00.002-05:00

Word count wise I'm lagging a little. And by a little I mean a lot. Since I'm trying to make up for lost time I have to remind myself not to freak out when I see other people's word counts.

My butt is firmly planted and my fingers are typing as fast as they can and I'm not doing too bad. Now I just have to get over the fact I feel like my writing isn't up to par and I can't go back and edit until I've reached my mark.

What can I say? I'm a perfectionist.

Okay maybe it's time to get back to the novel. I don't want to get any more behind than I already am.

Day 3: The Art of the Restart

2009-11-04T16:07:00.002-05:00

Having written myself into a brick wall I had to face the fact I had to just restart. It's not too far in and if I know what I want to say I should catch up on my word count in no time. But I'm only letting myself do this once. I can't delete 5,000 words and expect to stay on track once I should be up in the 10,000 word and up range.

Things are a lot better now.

By the way I know these daily blogs are short, but except for working on NaNo and doing laundry I haven't done much else in the past few days. Plus I'm trying to get into the habit of daily blogging but I don't want to take too much time away from my novel. Please stick with me here, December will probably be a little more exciting. You know with the whole Christmas freak out thing going on.

Day 2: Seriously? Why?

2009-11-03T19:10:00.002-05:00

Most of day two was spent trying to talk myself through my plot because I hit a little wall. The writing stalled out because I couldn't find my original note about my plot outline and I got a little lost. So after much inner debate I think I've finally got back on track.

The only problem is that it means a minor restart, but we'll get to that when I write about day 3.

Day 1: Why am I doing this to myself again?

2009-11-02T15:54:00.002-05:00

So day didn't go so well. I didn't feel well so I went to bed instead of starting at midnight. Then once I was awake I just couldn't get any writing done.

I think I rewrote what was essentially the same sentence at least five times. Oh, and I now hate my whole idea so I might back to square one.

Only 3 1/2ish hours left

2009-10-31T20:35:00.005-04:00

The madness is about to begin. In a few hours armed with only a title, two character names, and a vague idea of a plot I will start NaNoWriMo 2009. I will try to blog daily because I'm sure it's going to be an interesting month.

For now I'm going to just relax with a scary movie and wait for midnight to come.

Tips for NaNoWriMo

2009-10-29T16:43:00.001-04:00

When you're going to attempt to write a 50,000 word novel in the span of 30 days it makes sense to be prepared ahead of time. Here are some tips that I've picked up along the way

1) Have a decent outline..or at least an idea of what you're writing about: The rules say you can't start writing until 12am (local time) Nov 1st but you can make a plan for yourself. Even if you just plot everything out in your head, as long as you know what you want to write it will help avoid burning out right at the beginning.

2) Ignore your inner editor and critic: Nothing can throw you off like that voice telling you all the mistakes you may or may not be making. If you stop to edit then you're daily word count is going to be low and it may even cause you to get discouraged enough to quit. Tell that voice to bugger off on a vacation until you've finished your novel or December, whichever comes first.

3) Pace yourself: Don't set unrealistic daily and weekly word goals for yourself. If you write more then the 1666 words a day needed to end on time that's great, but if you can't then don't try forcing yourself to. As long as your story is flowing then you're fine.

4) Don't Panic!: Yes, it's a huge task. Sure others will have higher word counts then you, but that's okay. You're not in this alone so I repeat, DO NOT PANIC.

On a personal note, I like to have a play list of music that relates to the story I'm trying to tell. It helps get the words out when I'm feeling a little blocked. This may work for you too but I know it's not everyone's cup of tea.

Spoke too soon

2009-10-21T15:28:00.003-04:00

So I guess my tech troubles weren't entirely over. My wireless connection kept going to sleep which made it very hard to do..well anything really. At least internet wise. But let's get on to a better topic.

Halloween is right around the corner and I've been gearing up for it. Sadly it looks like the weather might not be the best so we're not going to be putting up too many decorations. Maybe just a few on the porch and a jack-o-lantern. That way if it rains none of the big decorations will get ruined.

Then it's time for NaNo! I have an idea of what I'll write this year but I'm sure I'll change my mind at least a dozen times between now and then. I'm making a playlist to help keep up my energy that fits the mood I want to do for in my story, music always makes everything better.

In which the Writer Girl returns

2009-10-19T15:30:00.005-04:00

No update in nearly a month? That's no good at all, even with my reasons that seems like a very large gap to go without blogging.

I have spent most of my time away being sick. It seems too early in the year to already be getting bad colds but that's just how lucky I am. To make it worse my guy was sick too so I was taking care of him. He hardly ever gets sick and he normally takes care of me when I'm under the weather so I didn't mind so much.

The up side to being sick was that I got to just sit and read since my laptop screen kept giving me a headache. It's always nice to curl up with a good book and just relax.

On top of this one of our computers crashed and so did our wireless network. We mainly use that computer for file storage so it was a big issue. It's still not fully working yet, all the files are still being transferred back onto it. Hopefully by this time tomorrow the beast will be back and I'll be a very happy woman.

As for the wireless we ended up having to get a new router. It was time for an upgrade anyway so it's not that big of a deal.

Well, since I'm still feeling a little ill I'm going to make myself some tea and watch a movie.

I just might do it this year

2009-09-23T17:45:00.005-04:00

Well I seem to be averaging at about 1,500 words per day when I sit down to write. Now I just have to work on one project at a time and clearing my schedule so I have more writing time, then NaNo should be a breeze this time around.

It's been a busy time here. We're trying to get the everything ready for fall and eventually winter, plus Thanksgiving is just a few short weeks away. I'll be going on a mini road trip before hand too. I seem to enjoy road trips a little more in the Spring and Fall than I do in the Summer. Maybe it's because it's warm but you don't feel like you're boiling in the car.